This is what my Mammaw mumbled to my aunt Marva Lynne just 3 days ago. She told my aunt to make sure to write the formula down on a note pad because everyone needed to know it. She's been losing her mind with this horrible disease so we thought nothing of it. Funny thing is today is the 17th day since she stopped eating, and she hasn't had any water in almost a week. She passed away at 2:11 this morning. Is this just a coincidence or was she really trying to tell us something? I guess we'll all find out on our on time.
I went to visit yesterday evening. I wasn't sure rather to take Ashlyn over to see her in the state that she was in, but my mom said that when they would just mention Ashlyn and Brennan's names she would wake up a bit, so I felt that it was important that my Mammaw get to see them. At this point I did not realize that it would be the last time, so I'm so thankful in my decision. When Ashlyn walked over to Mammaw's bed they (Dad and my aunt) said that Mammaw was more awake than she had been in the past 2 days. She couldn't talk and she could hardly open her eyes, but you could see her eyebrows moving up and down with joy knowing that her babies were in the room. We all took turns sitting with her talking with her and saying our goodbyes, letting her know that it was ok to let go. We never anticipated her going downhill so fast, but it truly was a blessing that she didn't suffer any longer than she did!
Mom drove over to my house at 5 this morning to tell me the news. She said that she couldn't do it over the phone. I'm so happy that she's no longer in pain, but I'm going to miss her more than anyone can ever imagine! It's not going to be the same walking in that house without her there. There's not a doubt in my mind that she's in heaven right now and I know that she's going to be watching over Ashlyn and Brennan all of the time. She's their guardian angel, there's no doubt about it! Please continue to pray for our family during this time of grief.
Monday, May 26, 2008
17 + Water = The Formula for Dying
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Overload
My mind is on overload. My body is on overload. My emotions are on overload. It's been a very hectic week around here. Having 2 kids is no walk in the park. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change a thing, but having two is NOTHING like having one! It's a completely different ballgame. I don't know who cries more my 3, soon to be 4 year old in less than a month, or my newborn baby. I do believe that Ashlyn is the whiniest child on the face of the planet. Brennan is overall a good baby, but he will not let you forget a feeding. It is every 3 hours ON THE DOT, and don't you forget it! He's up every 3 hours at night to eat, which I figured would change by now. Ashlyn was such a good sleeper. Everyone kept telling me that if you had one good sleeper get ready because the second one won't sleep a wink. I didn't believe a word of it...........until now! It's so true! =) He's also spoiled rotten which makes it very hard to get anything done throughout the day. He wants to be held 24/7. Britt and I were talking and we don't know what he's going to do at preschool when he isn't held all of the time. =) Tonight was my first attempt to go out shopping, by myself, with Ashlyn and Brennan. Let me tell you these people who have 4 or more kids are NUTS!!!!!!!!!! I was struggling with just the two of mine. Brennan screamed the entire time in the first store. We left, went out to the car, fed him, and were off to my second stop. Crazy I know! Ashlyn whined the entire time about getting a surprise, Brennan cried the whole time if we weren't constantly moving, everyone was staring at me like I was the CRAZY woman with 2 screaming children as I was trying not to lose my sanity. On top of all of this I was bathing suit shopping none the less. Just what I wanted to do after just having a baby, but we're planning on going to the beach next week and as much as I'd like to do it, I guess I can't sit out on the beach in shorts and a tee shirt trying to get a tan. I did find 2 tankinis that cover all of my rolls and stretch marks. Man I feel so old right now! I don't think that anyone will see me in a 2 piece EVER again. Brennan has done some major damage to my once upon a time decent body.
My Mammaw Drum is not doing well at all. She hasn't eaten in almost 2 weeks, and now she's barely taking any fluids in. They've started her on Morphine because she's having a lot of pain in her chest. I took Ashlyn and Brennan over there on Monday and as Ashlyn was giving Mammaw a hug goodbye my Mammaw took Ashlyn's face in her hands and said, "Baby, Remember that Mammaw will always love you!". I lost it. Try explaining to your daughter who thinks the world of her Mammaw that she's very sick and is going to be going to heaven soon to be with Jesus. Ashlyn is not happy about the idea. It is such a tough situation. We went back over on Thursday to see her and she could barely talk. Ashlyn went to tell her goodbye and she said, "Bye Mammaw. I'll see you in Heaven." My heart skipped a beat. Then my Mammaw replied, "Yes, and that will be the best day of my life!". I have cried and cried and cried over losing my Mammaw. Her and I are so close. It's hard to think of her no longer being a part of our lives, but I think that it's even harder to watch her suffer the way that she is. Please continure to pray for all of us during this time.
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Best Medicine Ever!
As most of you know my Mamaw Drum has pulmonary fibrosis which is hardening of the lungs. Thursday, May 15, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
More pics of Brennan
Brennan's first bath
Brennan and his buddy Jai. (My friend Holly's son)
Ashlyn, Hanna, and Brennan
