Overload

My mind is on overload. My body is on overload. My emotions are on overload. It's been a very hectic week around here. Having 2 kids is no walk in the park. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change a thing, but having two is NOTHING like having one! It's a completely different ballgame. I don't know who cries more my 3, soon to be 4 year old in less than a month, or my newborn baby. I do believe that Ashlyn is the whiniest child on the face of the planet. Brennan is overall a good baby, but he will not let you forget a feeding. It is every 3 hours ON THE DOT, and don't you forget it! He's up every 3 hours at night to eat, which I figured would change by now. Ashlyn was such a good sleeper. Everyone kept telling me that if you had one good sleeper get ready because the second one won't sleep a wink. I didn't believe a word of it...........until now! It's so true! =) He's also spoiled rotten which makes it very hard to get anything done throughout the day. He wants to be held 24/7. Britt and I were talking and we don't know what he's going to do at preschool when he isn't held all of the time. =) Tonight was my first attempt to go out shopping, by myself, with Ashlyn and Brennan. Let me tell you these people who have 4 or more kids are NUTS!!!!!!!!!! I was struggling with just the two of mine. Brennan screamed the entire time in the first store. We left, went out to the car, fed him, and were off to my second stop. Crazy I know! Ashlyn whined the entire time about getting a surprise, Brennan cried the whole time if we weren't constantly moving, everyone was staring at me like I was the CRAZY woman with 2 screaming children as I was trying not to lose my sanity. On top of all of this I was bathing suit shopping none the less. Just what I wanted to do after just having a baby, but we're planning on going to the beach next week and as much as I'd like to do it, I guess I can't sit out on the beach in shorts and a tee shirt trying to get a tan. I did find 2 tankinis that cover all of my rolls and stretch marks. Man I feel so old right now! I don't think that anyone will see me in a 2 piece EVER again. Brennan has done some major damage to my once upon a time decent body.

My Mammaw Drum is not doing well at all. She hasn't eaten in almost 2 weeks, and now she's barely taking any fluids in. They've started her on Morphine because she's having a lot of pain in her chest. I took Ashlyn and Brennan over there on Monday and as Ashlyn was giving Mammaw a hug goodbye my Mammaw took Ashlyn's face in her hands and said, "Baby, Remember that Mammaw will always love you!". I lost it. Try explaining to your daughter who thinks the world of her Mammaw that she's very sick and is going to be going to heaven soon to be with Jesus. Ashlyn is not happy about the idea. It is such a tough situation. We went back over on Thursday to see her and she could barely talk. Ashlyn went to tell her goodbye and she said, "Bye Mammaw. I'll see you in Heaven." My heart skipped a beat. Then my Mammaw replied, "Yes, and that will be the best day of my life!". I have cried and cried and cried over losing my Mammaw. Her and I are so close. It's hard to think of her no longer being a part of our lives, but I think that it's even harder to watch her suffer the way that she is. Please continure to pray for all of us during this time.